1. The only thing better than road trips to visit one’s precious relatives is having them live three miles away.
2. It is always best to receive one’s actual diploma, rather than just a commencement program with one’s name in it, before one solicits and receives graduation gifts.
3. One should not doubt the power of racquetball to create friends from acquaintances. One should also not doubt its power to make one feel like a complete and total athletic imbecile.
4. Asking God to makes one’s life count is noble; walking out the process by which He chooses to answer that request is like riding The Aftershock at Silverwood. Google it, people, and you’ll get what I mean.
5. Just because one visits Mt. Rainier in July does not mean one can wear tennis shoes to climb the trails. Snow, apparently, does not care what month it may be and will think nothing of making one fall flat on one’s hiney in front of attractive hikers who also happen to know what they are doing.
6. One should not allow visions of Olympic glory to delude one into thinking one can actually execute a Forward Roll Magic Hands. One should especially avoid this delusion whilst video cameras are rolling.
7. Spending a week with high school students and teaching them about the love of God is one of the sweetest ways to invest one’s summer vacation.
8. Turning 30 isn't all that bad, especially when the day includes a 10K, all of Yakima Foursquare singing "Happy Birthday", and an extravagant princess party.
9. Starting a new job is never easy, but can be made easier by being gregarious and having a pocketful of pirate jokes.
10. When spreading peanut butter on a middle schooler’s face so that they can catch mini-marshmallows, better use creamy.
11. Wrapping all the classroom desks in white butcher paper is actually NOT a good way to discourage graffiti. It actually has the opposite effect.
12. When one can congregate with 32 extended family members and thoroughly enjoy each moment, one is truly blessed.