Friday, February 29, 2008

The Day of Leaping

As I sit here on this Friday morning with Leap Year on the brain (thanks, Jayme), I'm pondering the fact that it is also a year of leaps for me. I have decided to join three of my closest friends from church in a church planting endeavor this fall. We started staff meetings about six weeks ago with just the four of us, discussing the vision and values for Franklin Hill Foursquare and building community with each other. No sooner had we started than the travel season kicked in for me and I was off to Portland for Boomerang, then home a week, then gone a week, then home a week, then -- you guessed it -- gone again.

Last Thursday, before this last cycle of gone again which landed me in Missouri (I didn't take any pictures because unlike all the other places, The Elms in Excelsior Springs just ain't that grand), Cesar and I sat down for lunch and chatting. (I'm still learning how to converse with Cesar when it is one-on-one. Normally I'm with him and his wife and family or other people. It's an intriguing process.) At any rate, I was challenged to assess the patterns in how I spend my time and the internal consequences thereof.

I realized that, outside of worship and teaching teams (which have taken a backseat to Boomerang and family stuff these past years), my time is spent on me. I may have sporadic times of service to other people, but there is no one place where I have been proactive in turning my heart away from meeting my own needs. And while the work I do is good work in the world, I am still compensated for it either monetarily or relationally.

Furthermore, I started thinking about the cost of being gone so much. When I travel for a Boomerang conference, I usually miss church, small group, and FHF Staff. If that weren't enough, I also just miss being in people's lives here. When I got back from MO, Cesar and Lisa had shifted around all their furniture AND decided to home school their kids next year. HELLO!!!! I didn't even know that was in the crock pot.

There is more to this, but one of the decisions that I've made as a result of all this pondering is to back out of the Boomerang Conferences I was scheduled to work in April. I'm going this week to Colorado, but after that, I won't be BoomBooming until the last conference of the season in Mid-May. While typing that makes me sad and makes me want to say "well, maybe I can work the Washington conference", I recognize that as me not wanting to leap with both feet into the next season of life. Part of my reluctance stems from my lack of knowledge about the next season, most specifically where I'll work, but I do know where I'll be as far as community, and I want to be here.

The other leap that happens today is applying for the YVCC Dean of Students job. It closes today and I'm squeaking in at the last second. I'll keep y'all posted on that one.

much love -- marah jean

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